Tuesday, August 26

The Post I Can't Seem to Write

     Ok.  I am not a blogger, seriously, if I keep saying it every post maybe you good readers out there will believe me eventually.  (And, no, I am not attempting to gain readers through reverse psychology.)  You will note the fact that there are no advertisements on my blog, the rough barn siding background that graces my blog was my first and, so far, only attempt of beautifying my blog.  For-cryin'-out-loud, I don't even have a profile picture or anything.  A long distant friend had to ask if it was my blog or my sister-in-law's blog.  HA! So now that I have laid out my case of why I am NOT a blogger, I should get started on the post I was looking forward to writing and then began to dread.

(Insert Darth Vader theme song here)

     For several months I have been wanting to blog about some of our outdoor activities, since, slow or little progress inside can be less than bloggable (is that a word?) material.  My husband bought us some ducks and chickens and rabbits for my small farming venture back around Resurrection Sunday (Easter time for everyone who doesn't live in our house).  This was of course risky, because animals have never really done very well in our little time we have had with them.  Before I was married, as far as I know, we never lost a pet to accidental death.  After my husband and I married and began different pet ventures, they all seemed to end badly.  We were even worried if we should venture the lives of small children in our care (that is not a joke).  As it stood only a week ago, the deaths of pets was 2 cats, ( my first beautiful calico strangled herself, and the second lasted nearly 5 years and was the best cat in the world...especially for an outside cat) 9 fish (including 5 goldfish, a beta, a tank cleaner that somehow got named donkey hote' and two shrimpy cleaning things), 2 dogs ( the first died within a month or two of my first cat. It was some illness that young dogs can get that we could do nothing about.  The second bit through my daughter's skin and we have zero tolerance for a dog who is suppose to protect the family doing the harming.  So he died of "lead poisoning").

      As you can see we were taking a great financial risk in the first place buying animals even if their eventual home would be the dinner table.  With a tractor chicken coop built buy my swarthy husband, we were able to move the 10 chickens around the yard and not let them roam.  For the rabbits, we had ground pens set up until that fateful day.  Our first encounters with loose neighborhood dogs were mild- trash cans spilled or the occasional roaming dog.  Then we put the rabbits out to graze in movable pens that had no bottoms.  We would see different dogs roaming our yard during the day when no one was outside.  Then one Sunday evening we came home to the cages turned over and the rabbits gone.  As I am writing this, I keep wishing we had been able to get the dogs way back then.  Fortunately, God saw fit to spare two of the rabbits and after a merry chase a few days later, we put them into more traditional rabbit cages.

     Fast forward a few months and my cat of nearly 5 years goes missing.  Now, no doubt, you are wondering why we have not fenced in our yard.  Our yard happens to be an oddly shaped 2.8 acres, that would cost us thousands of dollars to fence in.  On top of that, I happen to be of the mind that if you have an animal, you are responsible to keep it on your property, or expect that it may come into harms way on someone else's property.  Apparently, that philosophy is not shared commonly.  I learned that out in the mid-west some places people actually have co-owned fences that both landowners have to pay to upkeep no matter if one of them owns animals or not.

     As you can see it would be quite an expense for us to maintain a fence for the lack of responsibility of the dog owners in the area.  We also are not inclined to get a dog until we have such a fence for it. All of our animals were in pens at night, and the fence seemed non-essential. Of course, that all changed when we were given some kittens (I like to have a cat around to keep down mice populations out here in the country).  With the arrival of  helpless kittens, these dogs returned... this time with their friends.  I kid you not, we were up almost every night running outside hearing them bark at our kittens, chickens , ducks whatever they could find.  Every morning or night, something else was dead.  One evening (or morning, I can't remember the time of night) we counted up to five dogs running away from the scene of the crime.  Every morning we would share the death toll with the kids.  Of everything else, that was one of the hardest things to do.  The loss of money is nothing compared to telling your kids that their animals have been killed by dogs and seeing their little faces as they are disappointed that we let the dogs get away with it.  Injustice is an easily understood feeling at any age.

     I began to relate well with that feeling of injustice.  Over the past week, I have been looking at my heavenly Father not understanding why he lets someone else's pets come and kill our food and our animals who are here to help.   I know these dogs are pets, because some have collars.  They have also never killed for food. They leave all the gruesome evidence behind.

     So here I am looking to God and asking, "what good was happening from all of this loss of life and investment?"
 Romans 8:28  And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called 
according to his purpose.

"How can I be thankful for the lack of sleep, duck eggs, rabbit roasts, and family pets?"

1 Thessalonians 5:18In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you.

"Lord how can I trust you to know what is best for me?"

Isaiah 55:8-9  For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the Lord.   For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts.

Am I getting answers to my questions?  NO 
Are the dogs going to continue to be a trial?  Very likely
Am I upset at God? No!  Even if I never get answers as to why or how, but no matter what ...I know that my redeemer liveth, and that he shall stand at the latter day upon the earth:   And though after my skin worms destroy this body, yet in my flesh shall I see God:   Whom I shall see for myself, and mine eyes shall behold, ...Job 19:25-27


Until next time,
Crisa


Thanks for reading!  P.S. Sorry it is soooooooo long!

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